Adoption.

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A New Chapter

As it nears Christmas and the end of another year, I am thankful for the life and for the lessons learned this year. I am one week away from graduating from college! I only have one exam left, and this is VERY exciting for me!! :) However, it is also very scary, as well! Figuring out the next step is tough, and requires constant depending on the Lord for His strength and will and guidance! Fortunately for me, He is faithful and promises that if we seek Him, we will find Him! (Joshua 29) This year has proven to be trying, but has also made me a stronger person. Well, actually it has made me a weaker person, but stronger because I have had to rely on the Lord! I have had to grow up in a lot of ways this year! I have had my first "serious" relationship, I moved out, I am graduating college in a week, and am entering the "real world" (whatever that is). I, also, have become a part of a church plant called Bluff City Church! It is very exciting! It is all about community and reaching out to people! Just like the church in Acts!!! So many churches today only reach out to their own members and do what they can outside of their walls to look okay. But, Bluff City is about getting dirty, reaching out to the poor, helping those in need! Like the church in Acts, they strive to be in good standing with the people in our area! So many churches, I feel like, close themselves off from the area they live in! Pews are filled with people every Sunday searching for something more, but not finding it. Please do not misunderstand me, I do believe that there are a lot of genuine churches out there that are reaching out! However, the churches that aren't tend to give a bad rep. But, I will get off my soap box now! lol

It is extremely comical to me to think back and remember what I expected college to be like or where I expected myself to be at this point in life! SO totally different from where I am now! I remember being young and imagining myself at my Sweet 16, and being the captain of the cheer team and dating the extremely good-looking captain of the football team. Of course, he adored me and we served in ministry as leaders in our youth group. We got married a year or two outside of high school. We went to college together and he became successful at what he did, we raised four children (two boys and two girls) and moved to Africa to spend our days working with the widows and orphans. End Scene. Here I am at 23. In high school, I was a band nerd, and didn't date anyone. Here I am graduating college, and am single and not in Africa. But, I must say this! I am so thankful the Lord has had my life this way! I wouldn't change His plans for the world! Yes, the dream world I lived in when I was young was nice, and sweet and innocent. But, the world I live in now, is a testimony to God's hand in my life, and it is evident to see Him working! It is exciting and many times unpredictable! I am out of my comfort zone in so many ways, and I am loving it! Lately, it seems the story of Jonah rings true in my life! I was offered the opportunity to live overseas for a year or so working at a high paying job in my degree. Now, to the average eye, this is the perfect opportunity! I am not tied down at the moment, and living overseas so close to many of the popular vacation spots would be a dream, right? Well, every time I consider it, the Lord brings the story of Jonah in my life. Overseas right now, is my Tarsis (sp?), and where I am is my Ninevah. I will serve here because the Lord has called me here, but I realized the other day, that I have been kicking and screaming the whole way! This is the last place I wanted to end up! This is a dead zone for available guys, the crime rate is through the roof, and I have lived here my whole life! Now is the time for adventure and traveling, right? Wrong. Right now is the time in my life that God has called me here. And, to see Him work through these things, through my worries and through my fears and to provide for me, is just more evidence to me of His power and love and grace and hand in my life! He knows the plans He has for me! They are to prosper me and not to harm me and to give me a hope and a future! He knitted me together in my mother's womb! He knows my ins and outs and He knows my heart! And, He STILL loves me! It amazes me!!! There is NOTHING I could ever do to deserve that love, nor could I ever understand it! But, I am SO SO grateful for it!!! Thank you, Jesus for not giving up on me!!!!

The Calm in the Midst of the Storm

This week has been insanely crazy for me! As you can see from my past blogs...And, it's been hard...REALLY hard! My emotions have been up and down, and I don't know right from left it seems! I am learning how to forgive and move on...And, I am learning to trust the Lord in everything! And, I am learning to be patient! So often I find myself so consumed with my struggles and circumstances I am in, that I forget how amazing the Lord is and what He has done for me and who I am in Him! Tonight at Focus, Bro. Jim spoke on God's righteousness. God's righteousness, as found in Romans 1, is revealed through the Gospel. And, when Christ took the cross on Himself, and died He took the burden of all our sins! And, in return when we realize we are too far gone and can't do it on our own and surrender our lives to Christ, He imparts His righteousness on us! When you become a Christian, you by far do not become perfect! But, God has already poured out His wrath Christ through the cross! So, even when we mess up, we are covered in Christ's blood and God will not be angry at us! I am not saying this to say we should take advantage of His grace! Paul clearly warns against this! But, knowing this just reassures me of Christ's love and absolutely amazing grace that He has shown me! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! He is the calm in the middle of the storm that is my life! He is the reason I am living and breathing!!

Unworthy,
Hannah

Nightmare

I think the term nightmare best describes what my life has been like this week....I just want to wake up and it all have been a dream...But, that's not going to happen! Every morning I wake up and the pain is still there! I am just having to take one step at a time...

All for now,
Hannah

Wow...

Well, I think it's safe to say that the only thing missing from my day was Ashton Kutcher jumping out and yelling, "You got punk'd!" It's been a crazy insane day, and I am still trying to take it all in! But, at the end of every day, God is still faithful and still loves me and cares for me! He is the only constant in my life! And, for that I am SOOO thankful!!! Someone once told me that relationships won't work unless both people are trustworthy! And, that has rung SO true in my life today! I am thankful for the Lord's protection!!! Now, on to write my last paper for the semester!

In Him,
Hannah

Yep...

Today has been hard for me. Work was long, but the kids acted better than usual! I guess, I have been trying to be strong lately, but everyone has a breaking point where they just have to break down. And, I think that's what has been happening to me today. I wish I were stronger. I wish I knew how to communicate everything I was feeling. I wish loyalty, kindness, and forgiveness were not faults in me. The Lord has shown His love for me in amazing ways over the last week! And, He continues to do so! For that I am eternally grateful!! He is truly all I need! So, my prayer tonight is, "Creator, only You take brokenness and create it into beauty once again! So, please mend this porcelain heart of mine!"

Now on to writing two papers that I have due tomorrow...Why I procrastinate, I will never know. However, the good news is that these are the last two assignments I have for the semester! Two weeks more of school, then finals, then SUMMER! Praise the Lord!

Trusting Him,
Hannah

Baby

Saturday night at the leadership retreat this weekend, we had a talent show! And, yes! We dressed as babies, walked in the room on a rope, and did some crazy dance moves! :P It was a really fun experience! We danced in front of like 300 people! lol Something I never thought I would do! But, here's a picture of me and of the group of dancers! :)